Rebirth

salam alaykum

2015, the most boring beginning, imo. but it has to be done, ha!

today was heck of a roller-coaster ride. oh, the usual servings; complete solitude, complete mindblowing day full of nothings. up and down we go, with the late and paltry lunch at 4pm (which could be attributed to my ugly moods argh), before we totally crash and burn during dinner.

[during dinner prep]

mom: do people still call you daniaa

me: uh. yea. they get confused when i tell them to call me aaina. heck, i get confused myself. [...] but the kids from here call me aaina (gulp)

mom: what does daniaa even mean though

me: uh, i don't remember what, but it has an islamic meaning (gulp second time)

mom: how did it even happen

me: uh back then remember i love dan, and i just add the dan to the aaina flipped backwards and uh yeah that's how

bro: LIKE YOUR KPOP OPPARS

me: (angry glare)


and then the real shocker

[during dinner]

mom: how long have you been home

me: uh (fingers counting) three months

mom: do you like here or do you like india better

me: uh it's okay

mom: do you have any problems

me: (choke) uh no

mom: anything you want to tell me

me: uh no i'm fine


uhm. yeah. that was awkward.

i guess mom really hates people calling me daniaa. can't deny my fault when msu/india happened, and the name stuck on. tbh i've told people to call me by my real name (insert the that sounds so cute remarks, the so weird la calling you aaina, can we try farhanah instead oh ana ana ana giggling) but i don't register it when they call me aaina. like mom, i'm very sorry, but my *aaina* brain turns off when i'm with them, and the *daniaa/dany/dan* brain is on.

i wonder if kak thiah and naim called me daniaa when they came over the other day.


(i wanted to say mom please talk to me tbh. but it got stuck halfway inside my ribs. maybe it's better like that)


someone told me to start writing again. apparently i'm half amusing. ha ha ha. that's funny. i have zero funny bone in me.

but i think i will. while i have time.

while i haven't receive my placement letter, or while i still breathe, whichever comes first.

ps: as far as i'm concerned, 2015 seems to be shaping up well. january's good. so far. amiiin. haha. (i do miss india. yes. already.)